whitebread

You may have noticed the following appended to the bottom of this site’s pages:

The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author.
The contents of this page have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Minnesota.

I have recently received several emails regarding the inclusion of this text detailing how it was NOT optional, and how all attempts to circumvent the appearance of said text would be met with homepages being taken offline. To be frank, I have no problem with the text on the bottom of my webpage. I didn’t have to do anything to make it show up, and the views and opinions expressed in this page are my own, though I would add that they also belong to anyone else who happens to hold them. It is the second line that cracks me up. Who is the University of Minnesota, if not its students, staff and faculty? I happen to be a part of the first two groups.

I get it, of course–the “University of Minnesota” in this case is a team of lawyers responsible for making sure the University of Minnesota doesn’t get its endowment sued off because some jerkass posted some lunatic nonsense on their homepage. Which implies that the only defense against these litigatious lawyers is more lawyers, which makes me think about how effective screwing for virginity and fighting for peace are.

I decided to go for a skate today, because it always puts me in a good mood, and work was proving frustrating. Having sufficiently rolled around the pavement on the east bank, I headed for the west bank to see what smooth expanses I could find there. Unfortunately, traffic across the bridge has been severely restricted since they discovered weaknesses that needed repair. Everyone has been forced into a much smaller space. As a result, they have been handing out $80 tickets to anyone who rides, rather than walks, their bicycle across the bridge. There are large signs attesting to this fact, including one that pleads: “Bicycles use covered section so please, walk your bikes”. I was on my skates, so I was pretty sure those rules didn’t apply to me, but I went slowly and carefully to avoid: a. hurting anyone walking and b. drawing attention to myself just in case they were also ticketing skaters.

Once I had had my fill of the west bank, it was time once again to cross the bridge. This time, about half way through two young men with identical bikes and “BIKE PATROL” on their shirts saw me and put their kickstands down. They had been walking their bikes of course, setting good examples. “STOP!” one said authoritatively. Now, I’m all for people not riding their bicycles in areas where people are walking. But skating? Slowly? Come on. “No?” I yelled, pushing hard on my strong leg. You see, I was in a very good mood, The Crystal Method had just come in over my headphones, and I knew there was no way they could catch me. They had not seen me until I was fairly close, so they didn’t have time to block the way before I blew by them, still picking up speed. At this point they had to decide whether to get on their bikes and pursue me, or do something else that wouldn’t break the “walk your bikes” rule. I don’t actually know what they did because my attention was focused in front of me, but I’m pretty sure they never came any closer. A hard left out the propped open door of the covered section, a harder right and another left, up a wheelchair ramp and I was in my building.

Emacs is to VI as:

a. Kate Moss is to Margaret Thatcher
b. Margaret Thatcher is to Kate Moss
c. Kate Moss is to Janet Reno
d. Janet Reno is to Kate Moss

answer: d

Thanks to D for the idea.

“The vacuum in republican leadership has allowed a mean spirited lard-ass talk radio mind-corpse to become the de facto leader, which is turning an already crippled party into a bickering laughing stock.”

more

I watched a woman today as she worked the lunch rush. In the ten minutes I was there she probably helped 20 people, and that few only because my visa didn’t swipe properly and she had to key it in. “Can I help who’s next?” Over and over. I took a seat facing the registers, and she moved to the one on the end, which gave me a clear view of her as she spoke on the phone. The news wasn’t good. She just kept saying okay, but it was pretty clear that things were not. She wiped her nose in between okays, and choked back some tears before she hung up. Then, “Can I help who’s next?”

I lead an easy life.

Back inside my body I pick up the pieces
Count up my friends
And welcome another day.

God I miss Coleman.

If you’ve ever wondered how google can “give away” so many useful applications, read what the editor of wired has to say. As an example, when you use goog411 (the free phone-based information service) you’re “paying” for it by helping to train google’s voice recognition software.

If you’ve ever wondered how the newspapers and magazines think they’re going to survive, here’s what former editor of Time magazine has to say.

Finally, read why you should not feel bad about blocking ads on the web

I love Rod Blagovitch. Love him. You see, all I really want out of people is consistency. I am 100 percent confident that Rod Blagovitch could walk into a convenience store, and rob it. In doing so, he would look directly into one of the security cameras and confidently say, “I’m Rod Blagovitch, the governor of Illinois”. And as the two or three cops parked outside loaded him into a squad car, he would be heard to remark:

“This, my friends, is a witch hunt.”

In the men’s bathroom:

1. Wash your hands. With soap. You know who recommends this, besides me? The Centers for Disease Control. That little spritz of water isn’t going to wash the herpes off your hands, it’s just going to make them mobile so they wind up on the doorknob, you asshole.
2. If you must use the stall to urinate, PUT THE SEAT UP. Your aim isn’t that good. Nobody’s is. Even if it were, you’re still splashing water loaded with excrement onto the seat. And nobody wants to sit in that.

Edit:
B informs me that “Chlamydia is far more likely to be found on your hands”
Which makes me feel so much better!

When valgrind reports that you’re using an uninitialized value, and you’re absolutely certain you initialized the variable it’s reporting, know this:

Valgrind is LYING TO YOU.

What to do:
Look at the lines of code preceding the one valgrind is complaining about, and you’ll probably find your uninitialized value.

On a separate issue, if anyone can tell me what is going on here I would be most grateful:

==13298== —- Attach to debugger ? — [Return/N/n/Y/y/C/c] —- y
==13298== starting debugger with cmd: /usr/bin/gdb -nw /proc/13299/fd/1014 13299
GNU gdb 6.8-debian
Copyright (C) 2008 Free Software Foundation, Inc.
License GPLv3+: GNU GPL version 3 or later
This is free software: you are free to change and redistribute it.
There is NO WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by law. Type “show copying”
and “show warranty” for details.
This GDB was configured as “i486-linux-gnu”…
(no debugging symbols found)
Attaching to program: /proc/13299/fd/1014, process 13299
Cannot access memory at address 0×5c893818
A program is being debugged already. Kill it? (y or n) y
/proc/13299/fd/1014: Permission denied.