whitebread

1. Even though you’re from a country known for its fashion sense, a spiked mullet is not okay.
2. Your dog, no matter how small and cute, does not want to wear that skirt.
3. When you got dressed to go rollerblading today and thought to yourself, “Does wearing head-to-knee cap spandex printed with Team USA make me look weird?,” the answer was “Yes.” In fact, you look funny enough that a tourist may spend a good half-hour trying to take a picture of you because you look so fabulous.

I love traveling.