One year and nine days later
When I was young I saw a nature documentary on snow monkeys. I think it was the saddest thing I have ever seen, because a baby monkey died and the mother howled for days. She carried the body around too, long after it was dead. I thought to myself, “How sad–she’s just an animal and can’t understand what happened.”
Today, I think the true sadness lies in knowing that we are no better off than the monkeys. I’ve been carrying Coleman around in my head for more than a year now, and I don’t feel any further along. I don’t know why he’s dead and I’m alive. So it’s time to let him go, at least a little. Leaving my desk to sob isn’t doing anyone any favors. Plus I have it on good authority that Coleman would be angry if he knew that I were still affected like this.
I still miss you Coleman, and probably always will, but I have to go live while I still can.
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