******** H.A.N.D. is generously sponsored by 1-800-SEND-123 **************
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| TAKE A SMILE | call 1-800-SEND-123 ** FREE Catalog **
| AND |
| PASS IT ON! | Need a gift for a Birthday, Anniversary
|______________| Get Well, Baby Birth, Congratulations,
| You'll find something Perfect for Any Occasion!
@ Give us a call. We have merchants in
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\/\_ Flowers, Balloons, Baskets, & Gifts
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1-800-SEND-123 (Call 1-800-736-3123) Save 10%: Say "HAND-1296
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Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh is:
Some sent in by Marty Modell, Others by Shawn B. Schrager
***************Bumper Stickers**************
I love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Assassins do it from behind.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If you are psychic - think "HONK"
Editors Note: Bumper stickers seem to be crossing my desk today... these
two sent in the best compilations. You should be able to find one or two
you like to put on your sig line once in awhile. Spread the smiles
around...
Shawn Schrager likes to use:
"Remember. You are a unique individual...just like everybody else."
as his sig line once in awhile. He's the Coordinator of Online Information/
Web Administrator for "The NaviGator" -- The Official Website of Gator
Athletics" "http://www.uaa.ufl.edu"
Marty Modell says "I am recent transplant to North Miami Beach, FL from
McLean VA. I have moved around quite a bit in the past few years and the
'net
has kept me in touch with friends from all over. I have been a DP/IS
professional for the past third of a century, and have written four books."
Lucky for us he collects things that make people laugh... goodies for all
to enjoy. If you have something you think is funny please send it in. We
appreciate it! Keep those cards and letters coming.
Note: The other day, I announced a separate posting of HAND! without any
ascii art, for those with voice synthesizers or anyone who does not want
it. Sorry for the delay, I will be setting it up this weekend. If you
would like to receive HAND! with out art send a message to smiles@vivid.net
SUBJECT: no art.
Cheryl Rogers
HAND! Have A Nice Day!
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other email lists :
NETHUMOR - a humorous net site is visited each day
To: majordomo@bapp.com -- message: subscribe nethumor
I LOVE YOU: - a different translation of I Love You sent each day
(restarting after a brief hiatus)
To: majordomo@bapp.com -- message: subscribe ily
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To subscribe to HAND list, send message to majordomo@bapp.com
in body type: subscribe HAND Your_Email@address
To unsubscribe to HAND list, send message to majordomo@bapp.com
in body type: unsubscribe HAND Your_Email@address
Comments, send to Cheryl Rogers - smiles@vivid.net
The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author. The contents of this page have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Minnesota.