Sep 20, 1996 12:29 from Brad To The Bone
Haven't seen this one in here yet....
YOU KNOW YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN:
* You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
* Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
* Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
* You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
* You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone
* You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular
modem and a laptop.
* You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and
your child in the overhead compartment.
* All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection
to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
* And even your night dreams are in HTML.
* You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
* You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
* Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new
WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart
* You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and
you don't have a clue when it happened.
* You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new
* Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what
she looks like.
* All of your friends have an @ in their names.
* When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of
them are already highlighted in purple.
* Your dog has its own home page.
* You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway
* You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
* You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea
where your children are.
* You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
* You refer to your age as 3.x.
* You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net
* Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy
another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can
* As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your
first instinct is to search for the "back" or undo button.
[Humor> msg #62097 (8 remaining)] Read cmd ->
Dan Cosley (firstname.lastname@example.org)
This message, plus 82 cents, plus coffee tax, plus cup tax, plus grinding tax,
plus a dollar cause it's so chic to drink, will get you a cup of coffee.
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