All things in moderation.

Note: The moderator in question is _not_ me, it's the moderator of the list
below. Just wanted to clear that up in advance. *grins nervously and clears
throat*

-- Dan

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The Top 20 Things Our Moderator Did
on His Birthday Yesterday

20> Got free breakfast at Denny's, and subsequent free double
bypass at St. Luke's.

19> Same as any other day: sold some blood and blew the
proceeds on malt liquor and cheesecake.

18> Giddily ate S'mores and did the hokey-pokey well
into the night.

17> Phoned his cousin Cletus to try and patch things up
after that Tractor Pull misunderstanding.

16> Yet another wild drunken romp through Chuck E Cheese's.

15> Top Five List fan Michael Irvin dropped by with drugs
and hookers.

14> Combed Playboy collection looking for centerfolds born
on the same day.

13> Tater Tots, a case of Bud, and Olympic Synchronized Swimming!

12> Before opening each present, declared "...and the number
1 present is..."

11> Continued annual ritual of harrassing calls to 911 to report
a "Disco Inferno in my pants."

10> Since Madonna is still suffering morning sickness, just
stayed home and chilled.

9> Selected 20 birthday candles from 123 varieties by 58
manufacturers.

8> Read old Top Five Lists to entertain the party guest.

7> Dressed like Marilyn Monroe and sang breathy renditions
of "Happy Birthday" into mirror.

6> Hopped into the '55 Chevy and went cruisin' for cafeteria
ladies with Bob Dole.

5> Annual clipping of the toenails.

4> Same thing as every year: Crack open a chilled Colt45, blow
the dust off the ol' "Karma Chameleon" single, take the phone
off the hook, and par-TAY!

3> Sat around with Bomb Squad pals, drinking beer and opening
presents from rejected contributors.

2> Pulled head out of ass. Saw shadow. Twelve more months of lists.


and the Number 1 Thing Our Moderator Did on His Birthday
Yesterday...


1> Sent himself flowers, took himself out to dinner, invited himself
up for a drink, and damn near got lucky.

--
Dan Cosley (cause@coil.com)
This message, plus 92 cents, will get you a cup of coffee.



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