Quack!


[ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, you must include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]


The Top 18 Signs Your Doctor Doesn't Like You


18> Tells you that smoking is no more harmful than drinking milk.

17> Anesthesia? A shot of Wild Turkey and a good swift karate
chop.

16> Keeps "accidentally" losing his rectal thermometer.

15> For cerrosis of the liver, recommends "the hair of the dog
that bit you."

14> Insists she can do the entire examination over e-mail.

13> Attempts wart removal with a power sander.

12> Has you lie down and instructs the nurse to "fetch me a
big ol' IV of pork drippin's."

11> Keeps your tongue depressor in his loafers.

10> Second opinion? "You have 6 months to live AND you're
a crybaby!"

9> After the physical? Never calls, never writes.

8> Bill reads, "Balance due right now, or we'll tell everyone
about the herpes."

7> After weighing you, shouts out "245! We have a winnah!!"

6> Makes you stay until you've found ALL the hidden objects in
Highlights magazine.

5> Says, "Take two aspirin and call someone who gives a damn
in the morning."

4> Gives you 30 seconds to live, then says he'll be right back.

3> While you're under anesthesia, tattoos "Danger: Gas!" on
your butt.

2> Warms up his stethoscope on a blazing hibachi.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Doctor Doesn't Like You...

1> Gives, rather than takes, urine specimens.

=============================================================
[Humor> msg #60363 (0 remaining)] Read cmd ->

--
Dan Cosley (cause@coil.com)
This message, plus 92 cents, will get you a cup of coffee.




[Back to Dan's home page] [Back to the DHR index]

[Previous] [Next]

[Send mail to Dan]