The Corporate Penis

Yes, you COULD get offended by this. If so, please skip now.

-- Dan

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----









Jul 9, 1996 17:45 from Radish The Great
Cleaning out my e-mailbox. This amused me.

The penis list:

The 7-Up Penis: The UN-penis.
The Alkaseltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...
Oh, what a relief it is...
The All State Penis: You're in good hands.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Army Penis: Be all that you can be.
The AT&t Penis: Reach out and touch someone.
The Bacardi Penis: Taste the feeling.
The Beatles Penis: Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Beavis Penis: Look! it's changing color!
The Beef Penis: Tt's what's for dinner.
The Bic Lighter Penis: Go ahead and flick my penis
The Big Red Penis: It's longer with big red.
The Borden Penis: It's GOT to be good.
The Borg Penis: Resistance is futile.
The Bounce Penis: With Static-Guard!
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.
The Bud Lite Penis: Great taste, less filling.
The Budweiser Penis: This bud's for you
The Burger King Penis: Have it your way
The Butterfinger Penis: Nobody better lay a finger on my penis
The C & C Music Factory Penis: Makes you go hmmmmm...
The Cambells Soup Penis: Mmmm mmm good
The Captain Planet Penis: Go PENIS!!
The Charmin Penis: Don't squeeze the penis!
The Charmin Double Roll Penis: It lasts longer because it IS
longer.
The Chevy Truck Penis: Like a rock!
The Champion Penis: The official penis of the 96 USA Olympic
team
The Chips Ahoy Penis: Betcha bite a chip. (huh?)
The Citibank Visa Penis: It's everywhere you want to be.
The Cobain Penis: It blows itself away.
The Crest Penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.
The Dairy Queen Penis: Hot eats, cool treats
The Dairy Queen Penis II: We treat you right!
The Diet Coke Penis: Just for the taste of it...
The Domino's Pizza Penis: Delivers in 30 min or less
The Doublemint Penis: Chewing really satisfies.
The Edge Shaving Cream Penis: Ultimate closeness, ultimate
comfort.
The Ego Penis: Leggo me penis
The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going
The Equal Penis: Tastes like Sugar.
The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra extra extra long time
The Flintstone's Vitamins Penis: 10 million strong and growing
The Folger's Crystals Penis: It's freeze dried to seal in the
freshness. AND--the best part of wakin up is a penis in your
cup. The Ford Penis: Built Ford tough
The Frosted Flakes Penis: They're GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!
The Generic Penis: One size fits all.
The George of the Jungle Penis: Watch out for that.......tree?
The Gilette Penis: The best a man can get.
The Heinz Penis: Good things come to those who wait.
The Highlander Penis: In the end, there can be only one.
The Invasion of the Body Snatchers Penis: "They're here already!
You're next... YOU'RE NEXT!"
The Janet Jackson Penis: What have you done for ME lately?
The Jell-o Penis: Look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle.
The Jewel Penis: Take a new look at an old friend.
The Jolly Green *Giant* Penis: Self-explanatory
The Juicyfruit Penis: The taste is gonna move ya.
The Kenny Rodgers Penis: Very very hairy.
The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis: Everybody needs a little.
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The Lava Lamp Penis: Hee hee hee!!!!!
The Lays Penis: Betcha can't eat just one.
The Life Penis: Mikey likes it.
The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.
The Life Savers Penis: Five fruity flavors.
The Little Caesar's Penis: Penis!! Penis!!
The Little Caesar's Penis: Pleaser!! Pleaser!!
The Lucky Charms Penis: They're magically delicious
The M&M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand
The Macintosh Penis: Power is everything.
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.
The Mazda Penis: It just feels right.
The McDonald's Penis: Over 8 billion served.
The McDonald's Penis II: Have you had your break today?
The Micro Machines Penis: A whole world, in the palm of your
hand.
The Milk Penis: It does a body good.
The Milk Penis II: Got penis?
The Monty Python Penis: "Isn't awfully nice to have a penis"
The Monty Python Penis II: "Every sperm is sacred...."
The Mortal Kombat Penis: Nothing can prepare you.
The Mr. Clean Penis: Is it wet or is it dry?
The Mrtl Penis: Just like the real thing, only smaller.
The Neon Penis: Hi.
The Nike Penis: Just do it.
The Nintendo Penis: Now you're playing with power.
The Nuprin Penis: Little, Yellow, Different.
The Nyquil Penis: The nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose,
itching, burning, so you can't rest penis.
The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!
The Pizza Hut Penis: Makin' it great.
The Pringles Penis: Once you pop, you can't stop
The Purdue Chicken Penis: More meat, less bone.
The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead.
The Rave Music Penis: Ya'll ready for this?
The Reese's Penis: How do you eat your Reese's?
The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your penis say to you?
The Rick James Penis: It's SUPERFREAKY.
The Right Guard Penis: Anything less is uncivilized
The Robitussin Penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.
The Robutussin Penis II: Recommended by Dr. Mom...
The Rush Limbaugh Penis: Bald and fat.
The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop
The Sears Penis: Come see the brighter side.
The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a
woman.
The Sega Penis: PENIS!
The Siskel & Ebert Penis: 2 thumbs up...
The Skittles Penis: Taste the penis
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.
The Sony Play Station Penis: You are not ready.
The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing...
Taste is everything.
The Star Wars Penis: Use the Force, Luke!
The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.
The Subway Penis: Where fresh is the taste
The Swiss Miss Penis: The taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!
The THX Penis: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on.......
The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your penis?
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?
The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.
The Transformers Penis: It's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.
The Uncle Sam Penis: We want you.
The War of the Worlds Penis: "The time came when the Martians
looked upon our penis with envious eyes, and slowly but
surely turned their plans against us."
The Wendy's Penis: Where's the beef?
The Windows '95 Penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Wonder Bubbles Penis: Magic wand inside!
The Wonder Bubbles Penis II: For ages 3 and up
The Virginia Slims Penis: You've come a long way, baby.
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.





[Humor> msg #60380 (3 remaining)] Read cmd ->

--
Dan Cosley (cause@coil.com)
This message, plus 92 cents, will get you a cup of coffee.



[Back to Dan's home page] [Back to the DHR index]

[Previous] [Next]

[Send mail to Dan]