An extensive collection of "yo mamma" jokes
Some of these are funny, in an insulting kind of way, but if you're going
to get offended by this sort of thing, please stop reading now. (Edited
from the original, extremely long list)
-----------------------------------------------------
YO MOMMA SO STUPID
* Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
* Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign,
she went home and got 16 friends
* Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up
her mind
* Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
* Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
* Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
* Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
* Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
* Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
* Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
* Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
* Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write
below the dotted line she put "O.K."
* Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
* Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
* Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
* Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
* Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked,
"M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
* Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
* Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at
McDonalds!
* Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
* Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22
twice instead.
* Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
* Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
* Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
* Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
* Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
YO MOMMA SO FAT
* Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was
backing up
* Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
* Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
* Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for
the new world
* Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free
Willy
* Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says
"okay!"
* Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
* Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
* Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
* Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
* Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE
HOUSE!
* Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
* Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
* Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
* Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
* Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
* Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
* Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the
bitch's good side!
* Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
* Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
* Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
* Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
* Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
* Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
* Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
* Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!
* Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
* Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
* Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on
theother side just to get her through
* Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they
have to install speed bumps.
* Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite
pictures
* Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her
waist they spelled out boulevard.
* Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
* Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the
green arrow!
* Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch
marks.
* Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her
farts!!!
* Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because
we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
YO MOMMA SO OLD
* Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
* Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
* Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the
switch'
* Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
* Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
* Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
* Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
* Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
* Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
* Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
* Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and
said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
* Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang
YO MAMA IS SO POOR
* Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked
her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
* Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
* Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's
fingers!!!
* Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
* Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
* Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
* Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said,
"What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
* Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
* Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
* Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard
YO MAMA IS SO UGLY
* Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no
professionals."
* Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
* Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
* Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for
Star Wars.
* Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle,
they put it around her neck
* Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
* Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the
surveillence cameras
* Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the
dogs to play with her.
* Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
* Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
* Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
* Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12
hours... for a quote!
* Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
* Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
* Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
* Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try
to bury her.
* Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
* Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
* Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he
doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
--
Dan Cosley (cause@coil.com)
This message, plus 85 cents, will get you a cup of coffee.
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