Problems on the Olympic Torch Route
The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route
---------------------------------------------------------------
15) Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco.
14) Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents.
13) One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear.
12) Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable Bic
lighter.
11) Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after "s'mores"
party got out of hand.
10) Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of the
urinal at the last rest stop.
9) First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to "receive the
baton."
8) Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a case of
Bud and a supersoaker.
7) Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC -- appears 30 minutes later in
Atlanta.
6) Drive-by goosings.
5) Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the "Chariots of
Fire" theme.
4) Torch-jackings in urban areas.
3) Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new Olympic
Bong.
2) Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for
directions.
and the Number 1 Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route...
1) Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, "No, I meant a BUD light!"
[
--
Dan Cosley (cause@coil.com)
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